I never realized this was going to be such a draining, exhausting, emotional journey. The pursuit of health is hard... Hard enough that sometimes I wonder if it is worth it. Its so much easier to just sit back, relax, and eat whatever I want whenever I want. But in the end, its harder to look in the mirror every day and hate what I see. Its harder to not be able to enjoy a hike or a bike ride. And its harder to dread going to the beach because a bathing suit reveals all those things a oversized tee hides. I have to keep my goal at the forefront of my mind. I am not pursuing this because I want to have a thigh gap or rock hard abs. I pursue this because I want to be strong, I want to run, I want to be healthy.
In saying all these things, it is small steps, one right after the other.
I have always wanted to run, ever since I was a teenager. I never tried, because one day a neighborhood boy called me fat. I had never felt fat until that very moment. Once the realization hit me, I obsessed over my weight. Once I started obsessing, I began starving. I posted pictures of supermodels on my wall, and with every skipped meal, I felt one step closer to becoming who I really wanted to be.
Society tries to sell us these quick fixes for our weight and health problems. My idea of skipping meals wasn't my own. I knew from the women around me that this could cause weight loss. I saw the commercials for diet programs, drinks, fasts, cleanses... whatever other fad that is the new miracle weight loss cure. But it doesn't work. The thing is, if you are overweight, then there is no miracle weight loss method. You will have to work and sweat and work some more. You will have to watch what you eat, you will have to exercise and stick to it. No pill, no diet will give you lasting success. I wish I learned this years ago.
In january I decided to let go of my insecurity and start working toward a better me. I joined an Intro to Yoga class. This took all of my courage to exercise in a group setting, but it proved to be life changing. It gave me confidence to pursue my dream, running. In february, I joined a running clinic and March 19th I ran my first 5 k. ( Im hoping to write more about running in my next entry).
Step one: If you want it, you have to work for it. Join a class.
Tuesday 6 May 2014
Wednesday 6 November 2013
The hard choice.
Its been a week since my last post, and I have to say, the struggle against apathy is hard. Its seems so easy to just settle into a future that isn't pursuing so much change. Lets be honest, its a whole lot easier to just give up when things seem hard. But I haven't given up. I know I need to keep pushing ahead.
One thing that has been hard is the recent awareness of a gluten allergy. On top of everything else, the trying to be active, watching what I am eating and so on, now I'm unable to eat most of my favorite foods because it actually hurts me. For instance, last night it was my amazing sister's birthday. No birthday is complete without cake. Usually, I would opt to have a small piece to satisfy the craving, and to prove to myself I was still in control of my portions. Last night was different. I knew if I ate the cake, things would be ugly today. Even with that knowledge, it still felt hard to make that choice. Now if that isn't an addiction to food, I dont know what is! I'm happier than ever knowing I am not only gaining control of my weight, but also of my cravings. I strongly suggest finding out if you have any gluten allergy or intolerance. It appears in many different ways, but it seems it is more common than ever before.
I had been less active the past few days, so today I went hard. Let me tell you, when I was done, I felt weak. If you have a hard time fitting in exercise in your daily routine, try cleaning your home. For one hour of heavy cleaning, you can burn up to 306 calories, and if you're anything like me, I'm sure an hour cleaning would be greatly needed.
It feels good to be back on track! I will be including my weigh in's weekly. Next blog we will see how much I have lost!!!!!
One thing that has been hard is the recent awareness of a gluten allergy. On top of everything else, the trying to be active, watching what I am eating and so on, now I'm unable to eat most of my favorite foods because it actually hurts me. For instance, last night it was my amazing sister's birthday. No birthday is complete without cake. Usually, I would opt to have a small piece to satisfy the craving, and to prove to myself I was still in control of my portions. Last night was different. I knew if I ate the cake, things would be ugly today. Even with that knowledge, it still felt hard to make that choice. Now if that isn't an addiction to food, I dont know what is! I'm happier than ever knowing I am not only gaining control of my weight, but also of my cravings. I strongly suggest finding out if you have any gluten allergy or intolerance. It appears in many different ways, but it seems it is more common than ever before.
I had been less active the past few days, so today I went hard. Let me tell you, when I was done, I felt weak. If you have a hard time fitting in exercise in your daily routine, try cleaning your home. For one hour of heavy cleaning, you can burn up to 306 calories, and if you're anything like me, I'm sure an hour cleaning would be greatly needed.
It feels good to be back on track! I will be including my weigh in's weekly. Next blog we will see how much I have lost!!!!!
Wednesday 30 October 2013
The Beginning
This is my first time posting and writing so openly about myself. My name is Lisa. I have struggled with weight and self image my whole life. I can honestly say there wasn't a moment in my life where I looked in the mirror and completely appreciated what I saw staring back at me. I was constantly under my scrutinizing eye, emphasizing all my flaws, all my failures, all my defects. This lead to a mindset of complete hopelessness.. I mean, why try? I was always going to be this way, overweight, awkward and a bit too abnormal for a majority of people.
Then I turned thirty. Not only was I still single, I was still over 200 pounds, no kids, no home, no career.
Thirty. I struggled with this more than I thought I would. I had nothing. If you had asked me what my life would look like at thirty when I was thirteen, I would have told you I would be married with two children, have a wonderful career teaching music and look incredible for my age. Now, with thirty rounding the corner, I quickly realized none of this mattered.
This was the turning point in my mindset of who I was. I decided to take charge of myself, to stop making excuses, to stop being afraid of failure. I think most of us who want to be healthy become so discouraged at how long the process will be. It took years of not caring about myself to get to where I am today and it will take years of working hard to get to where I want to be. It takes no effort to gain five pounds. It takes lots of effort and time to get rid of those five pounds the right way. So I began my journey one step at a time. The first step? Tackling smoking. I knew if I could rid myself of that, I could do anything. I read the book " The easy way to quit smoking" by Allan Carr which was suggested to me by a friend. Because of that book, I have been smoke-free for 7 months now, no cheating, no little puffs here and there and incredibly no cravings. This step was the push I needed to get moving!
I thought I was the only one who struggled with these things. I thought I would have to live the rest of my life cringing every time someone pulled out a camera. I am sick of having to monitor every picture posted on my facebook. Recently a friend posted their feelings about being overweight and the words stung my heart. I know those feelings all to well, and I am sick of feeling them. I write these things for her. I write these struggles for all of us who are silently screaming at ourselves and feeling desperately overwhelmed.
I know this journey will be hard. This is my way of having accountability to myself as well as others. Please come with my on my journey, it's a long road to have to go alone.
The tools I am using are the following:
My fitness Pal
Couch to 5 k
Squat Challenge
Plank Challenge
I will post tips and tricks as I go. One of the easiest tips I have read was pick your goal weight ( mine is 140) and add a zero to the end ( 1400). That is the calorie intake you must eat each day ( which will fluctuate with any exercise added each day). My fitness pal makes keeping track of calories as well as carbs, fats and protein easy as sending a text!
Here we go!
Then I turned thirty. Not only was I still single, I was still over 200 pounds, no kids, no home, no career.
Thirty. I struggled with this more than I thought I would. I had nothing. If you had asked me what my life would look like at thirty when I was thirteen, I would have told you I would be married with two children, have a wonderful career teaching music and look incredible for my age. Now, with thirty rounding the corner, I quickly realized none of this mattered.
This was the turning point in my mindset of who I was. I decided to take charge of myself, to stop making excuses, to stop being afraid of failure. I think most of us who want to be healthy become so discouraged at how long the process will be. It took years of not caring about myself to get to where I am today and it will take years of working hard to get to where I want to be. It takes no effort to gain five pounds. It takes lots of effort and time to get rid of those five pounds the right way. So I began my journey one step at a time. The first step? Tackling smoking. I knew if I could rid myself of that, I could do anything. I read the book " The easy way to quit smoking" by Allan Carr which was suggested to me by a friend. Because of that book, I have been smoke-free for 7 months now, no cheating, no little puffs here and there and incredibly no cravings. This step was the push I needed to get moving!
I thought I was the only one who struggled with these things. I thought I would have to live the rest of my life cringing every time someone pulled out a camera. I am sick of having to monitor every picture posted on my facebook. Recently a friend posted their feelings about being overweight and the words stung my heart. I know those feelings all to well, and I am sick of feeling them. I write these things for her. I write these struggles for all of us who are silently screaming at ourselves and feeling desperately overwhelmed.
I know this journey will be hard. This is my way of having accountability to myself as well as others. Please come with my on my journey, it's a long road to have to go alone.
The tools I am using are the following:
My fitness Pal
Couch to 5 k
Squat Challenge
Plank Challenge
I will post tips and tricks as I go. One of the easiest tips I have read was pick your goal weight ( mine is 140) and add a zero to the end ( 1400). That is the calorie intake you must eat each day ( which will fluctuate with any exercise added each day). My fitness pal makes keeping track of calories as well as carbs, fats and protein easy as sending a text!
Here we go!
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